


Sweet Pyramus and Hella Thisbe - A Play in Five Acts

by masswisteria



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Basically abusive Condesce is abusive, But brief and not within the pairings/quartet, Communication is hard and no one understands, Condesce is kind of OOC, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Exhibitionism, F/F, F/M, Group Sex, Humanstuck, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Oral Sex, Poly Boundary Issues, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Pre-Poly, Semi-Public Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Voyeurism, background les8ifins, blink-and-you'll-miss-it vrisrezi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-23 17:15:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11406930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masswisteria/pseuds/masswisteria
Summary: Lord What Fools TheseMortalsUndergrads Be~Kanaya Maryam, probablyFeferi is expecting to attend her sister's wedding with her girlfriend Aradia, but Meenah and Feferi's mother has other ideas, expecting Feferi to take "the nice, young Ampora boy." Can Feferi escape her mother's attempt to set her up with one of her best friends? Is she really comfortable with dating someone who is openly polyamorous? And can she juggle all of thisandget Dave Strider's train wreck of a play ready in time for opening night?





	1. Act One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Capitola](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capitola/gifts).



> Huge thanks to [anyilherron](http://anyilherron.tumblr.com) for giving me the suggestion that lead to this fill in the first place, and to [cryogenia](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cryogenia) and [asterCrash](http://archiveofourown.org/users/asterCrash) for being wonderful, patient beta readers! <3
> 
> * * *
> 
> Prompt:
> 
> Eridan/Sollux/Aradia/Feferi - College Shakespeare group AU
> 
> Frustrated stage manager + oblivious actor(s) + equally-frustrated-but-for-different-reasons-techie(s). Maybe they go out to a cast party or for drinks after the show, things escalate.

Feferi and Eridan both looked up as Meenah let out a groan, their attention drawn to the large dining room table where Meenah sat with her head in her hands, glaring at the white paper plates spread out on the table, each decorated around the edges with little yellow sticky notes. “Fuck it, I give up. This is impossible. Im-fucking-possibubble,” her sister grumbled, shoving the nearest plate away from her, causing a couple sticky notes to fly off and fall to the floor. Feferi felt some sympathy for her; she and Aranea had been wrestling with seating arrangements all morning, shifting sticky note guests from paper plate table to paper plate table, trying to find an arrangement that kept bitter enemies apart from one another without generating drama over imagined slights.

Mostly Feferi was glad that _she_ wasn’t the one getting married in four days – not that she didn’t have her own headache of a four-day deadline to deal with. She wanted to switch over to a major in Stage Management so she didn’t exactly _regret_ her decision to volunteer to stage manage a late summer play. She just wished she had known that the play’s author and director was _Dave Strider_ before she had agreed to do it. It was bad enough that he had taken a story by Ovid and turned it into confused jumble of pop culture and memes, he couldn’t commit to just one confused jumble. She and Eridan were going over the costume design changes that the latest set of edits required – _Does a complete scene rewrite count as an edit? Does Dave Strider understand the concept of deadlines?_ – when Meenah’s outburst had distracted them.

“Babe, make this go away,” Meenah whined at Aranea, who had returned the plate and stickies to their prior location in front of Meenah, and was now running her hands over her fiancé’s shoulders in a futile attempt to soothe her.

Aranea examined the plate from over Meenah’s shoulder, tapping one finger against her chin. “Hmm…what if we moved the Amporas over to table 6, and put your cousins back at table 3?”

Before Meenah could respond, their mother answered for her, her shrill voice calling from the top of the stairs. “Table 6?! Meenah, what’re you thinking? Putting the Amporas at table 6…” Feferi heard her sister fail to suppress another groan, as Aranea patted her shoulder in sympathy. Neither bothered to point out that it was Aranea who had made the suggestion, knowing that would ignore them. 

“The Amporas are the most important family in this town – after us, of course – and you’re putting them all the way down in table 6…,” their mother shook her head in apparent disbelief at her daughter’s faux pas as she made her way across the sitting room and into the dining room. 

The loud click of their mother’s heels on the hardwood floor came to an abrupt stop behind Feferi and Eridan. “Oh, Eridan! I didn’t know you were over!” Her voice, which was all teeth and claws a moment ago, suddenly dripped with sweetness. “Feferi, why didn’t you tell me we had a guest?” _And there’s the claws again._

Feferi looked up at her mother, honestly confused. “Because he’s not a guest? He’s Eridan?”

“Girl, I’ve got no time to argue with you, I’ve got to fix this ‘table 6’ business then get to the florist’s. At least offer him a drink.”

Eridan looked like he wanted no part in this conversation. “Um, I’m fine, really. Thanks?” Feferi just shook her head at him. There was nothing he could do, and she planned on ignoring everything ‘Her Imperious Momdecension’ – as Meenah had privately nicknamed their mother so many years ago – had just said. Feferi could hear her still muttering about ‘children’ and ‘barbarians’ and ‘no manners’ the rest of the way to the dining room.

“Let me see what you’ve done,” her mother sighed, looking over the arrangements critically. “Oh!” she said suddenly. “What are you doing putting Eridan with his family? He’ll be sitting with us, next to your sister.”

“No, mother, he will not,” Feferi corrected, not even trying to keep the exasperation from her voice. “Aradia is my ‘plus one’ for the wedding. You remember Aradia, right? I think I’ve introduced her to you about three different times now.” And each time her mother had acted like she’d never seen her before.

“Aradia…is that your friend from the other day?”

“Yes mother, she’s my _girl_ friend. The one I’ve had since October.” _The one you keep trying to pretend doesn’t exist._

“Now I don’t know why you’d want to bring her along to someplace like this. She’ll be so uncomfortable, sticking out like a sore thumb in our crowd.”

Feferi pushed herself off the couch, her anger rising with every one of her mother’s words. They had been down this road more than once before. “Why? Why is she going to stick out? Is it because she drives a Mazda instead of a Maserati?”

“Quit talking nonsense, child, I told you don’t have time to stand here and argue with you. Now, I already talked it over with Eridan’s father. You’ll be a fantastic couple.”

Eridan shifted in his seat on the sofa uncomfortably. “Uh, he never really asked me about it…,” he offered, but her mother ignored him.

Feferi turned to her sister, looking for help, but Meenah only offered a shrug and a frown. _Wow, thanks for the support, sis._ She turned back to their mother, who had crossed back through the sitting room and was collecting her purse and keys from the foyer sideboard. “Mother, I am not going to the wedding with Eridan! Period!”

Her mother paused at the door to look back over her shoulder at Feferi, giving her The Look that she and Meenah had learned to fear as children. “Then I guess you’ll be staying home then. Too bad, I know your sister was looking forward to having you there, but if you’ve got to throw a fit, then…” She shrugged.

Feferi glanced back and forth between her sister and mother, mouth open, trying to think of what to say. _She couldn’t…she_ wouldn’t _!_ Except Feferi knew perfectly well that her mother could and would keep her from attending her sister’s wedding in order to win the argument. Meenah for her part looked about as shocked as Feferi felt.

Their mother opened the door to leave, and nearly walked right into Sollux, one hand raised toward the door’s brass-handled knocker. She stepped aside to let them in before leaving and letting the heavy oak door fall shut behind her. The thud shook Feferi from her shocked daze, and she rounded on her sister. “What the _shell_ , Meenah?! I cannot believe you just stood there and let her say that!”

Her sister shrugged again. “What’d you expect me to do? Momdecension’s at Defcon 2 over this wedding as it is. I haven’t even been able to change her mind about fuckin’ appetizers, never mind this.”

Aranea looked up from the table arrangements that she had been studying intently throughout the argument. “Micromanaging every last thing about the wedding seems to be her way of coping with the fact that her daughter is growing up.”

“So yeah, sorry sis, I got nofin.” Meenah turned to plant a kiss on Aranea’s ear. “Told you we should’ve eloped.”

Feferi had to concede that their mother had been even more of a control freak than normal over the wedding. Still, she didn’t have to be happy about it. “Fine, whatever, I’ll deal with her myself I guess.”

“You know Fef, it doesn’t have to mean anything if we go together,” Eridan offered. “I mean we could just go as friends or whatever,” he added, not quite meeting her glare.

“No, no fucking way!” She paused to take a deep breath, seeing him flinch at anger that he didn’t deserve. “Sorry,” she continued more calmly, “I love you Eridan, but no, I’m not giving into her on this one. I’m not going to let her think she can dictate my love life.”

“So…” Sollux’s voice drew all eyes toward him, still standing by the front door, looking confused. “What’d I miss?”

 

“Wow…your mom is a bitch,” Sollux said once Feferi had caught Aradia and him up on the latest drama from House Peixes. She had waited to share the news until after they picked up her girlfriend, to avoid having to think about it twice. “So what’re you going to do?”

Feferi knocked her head back against the headrest. “I don’t know…I’m not going with Eridan though, that’s for sure,” she said, glancing back at where Aradia sat in the backseat. Feferi was glad that Eridan had passed on Sollux’s offer for a ride to the theater. Even if she didn’t mean anything by it, she imagined it couldn’t be very comfortable sitting there listening to someone go on and on about how much they didn’t want you as a date. And she really didn’t want to hurt his feelings just because her mother was a nutcase; she and Eridan had been close friends for years, just like her and Sollux – she loved them both. _I mean, under different circumstances…_

But she had a girlfriend now – a wonderful, beautiful girlfriend who made her very happy – and they deserved to get to share these things just like any other couple did. Sure, Aradia was poly, but just because Feferi was comfortable with her partner having other partners that didn’t mean she was ready or wanted to do the same, and she certainly wasn’t about to try just to make her mother happy.

“Huh. Sucks to be him then, I guess,” Sollux said.

“Oh, be nice,” she rolled her eyes, catching Aradia’s questioning look in the rearview mirror, and twisted around in her seat to face her girlfriend as she explained. “Sollux is convinced that Eridan has been crushing on me since freshman year. Of high school,” she clarified, after a moment.

“I take it you disagree?” Aradia asked.

Feferi laughed. “It’s completely ridiculous!”

“It’s not ridiculous,” Sollux argued.

“It _is so_ ridiculous,” Feferi insisted matter-of-factly. “If he’d been interested he’d have asked me out by now.” She turned back to see Sollux shaking his head.

“Come on.” She poked him in the shoulder playfully. “When have you ever known Eridan to be shy about his feelings? And how many different girls did he ask out in high school?”

“That’s different,” Sollux said, not taking his eyes off the road.

“How?”

“He actually gives a shit about you,” he said. “You’re like, his best friend.”

“No, that’s you.”

It was Sollux’s turn to laugh, though his held somewhat less humor in it. “Not even close. You know what that jerk’s first words are to me most days? ‘Hey, nerd, where’s Fef?’”

Feferi sighed, having heard all of this far too many times before. “And then you tease him about it, then he tells you to shut up, then you punch him on the arm and tell him to make you…”

“Sounds like a mating ritual,” Aradia said, grinning and waggling her eyebrows at Sollux through the mirror.

Feferi turned back to her again. “Right?! Like a weird, BroTP mating ritual.”

“BroTP...or OTP?” Aradia asked, kicking her eyebrows into overdrive.

“What? No…” Feferi glanced back at Sollux, then threw herself back around to stare at him. “Oh. My. _GOD!!!_ Are you blushing?!”

“Oh hey I got an idea – how about we DON’T TALK ABOUT THE DRIVER’S SHITTY NON-EXISTENT LOVE LIFE.” _Oh yes, that was definitely a blush creeping up his cheeks._

“OK no this is perfect!” Feferi clapped her hands.

“No. Whatever you’re thinking, no. No, no, no, no, no,” Sollux said to the windshield, absolutely refusing to look at Feferi or Aradia.

“There’s no way my mom can try to force me to date Eridan if he’s already dating you!” Feferi continued, completely ignoring Sollux’s protests. “All you have to do is ask him out.”

“Not happening.”

Feferi leaned over toward him. “Why not? Don’t even try to say we’re wrong about your liking him. I mean, Mr. way-too-cool-to-have-feelings is blushing!”

“OK, fine, yeah, I like the dumb, arrogant asshole! Happy now?” Sollux yelled.

Feferi sat back in her seat, grinning. “Yes.”

"Thank you,” Aradia added.

“I’m still not asking him out,” Sollux said.

“What?” Feferi asked, almost the same time as Aradia asked, “Why not?”

“Um, because he doesn’t like me back?” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Aradia leaned forward toward the front seats. “How do you know that if you won’t ask?”

“Cause he’s never looked at me or talked to me like he does with Fef?” Sollux groaned and pushed at the steering wheel in front of him in frustration. “Besides, you two were just going on about how he’d obviously have asked Fef out by now if he were into her, so the same would go for me.”

“And you said that it was because he actually cares about me that he _hasn’t_ asked me out. So that means if he actually cares about you, then he _wouldn’t_ have asked you out either. So we’re right and you’re wrong.” Feferi crossed her arms over her chest and sat back in her seat, satisfied with herself.

Sollux spared a brief look toward her. “Do you actually want to know how many logical fallacies you just committed? Because I could tell you. It’s not a small number.”

“Oh, come on Sollux,” Aradia said, leaning forward further to prop her chin up on the back of his seat. “I think you’re just nervous, and that’s OK.” She suddenly bounced back into her seat and dug her phone out of her purse. “But we can help with that! Here, I’ll pretend to be Eridan, and you can practice asking me out. We can do it over chat, so you can still pretend you’re not actually interacting with other humans.”

“Oh god no,” Sollux grimaced. Moments later his phone buzzed, and at the next stop light he glanced down to where it sat in a cup holder behind the gearshift, bright purple text flashing on the screen. “You switched to his text color? And changed your screen name? Since when are you a method actor?”

Sollux looked a little closer. “You spelled it wrong – ‘chanelsAtelier’ only has one ‘n’ in it.”

“Well excuse me. Obviously, I can’t pick the exact same name since he’s already using it, so I hope you can find a way make do with something that is one letter off.” She stuck her tongue out at him, making certain that her sarcasm wasn’t missed.

Feferi patted Sollux on the head gently. “Oh, don’t worry about it. He’s just upset that it’s not ‘show accurate.’”

“Come on, I criticize a cosplayer _one time_ and-“ 

A loud honk from the vehicle behind them served to interrupt Sollux’s rant and inform him that the light had, in fact, turned green.

“OK, can we continue whatever pickup line nightmare roleplay you have planned and the continued mockery of my borderline OCD-level need for faithful recreations once I’m _not_ driving?”

“OK, that’s fair.” Aradia sighed and put her phone away. 

Feferi grinned. “But…,” she said, turning back to Aradia, whose face lit up as she grasped where Feferi was going. “You did just agree to do it.”

Sollux leaned forward and proceeded to bump his forehead against the steering wheel repeatedly. “I fucking hate you both.”


	2. Act Two

garmentAugmentist [GA] joined the chat Spiders Rule, Dr8gons Drool >::::( at 10:25 AM.  
AG: Kanaaaaaaaaya...I'm boooooooored.  
GA: I'm Sorry For You  
AG: Entertain me! ::::)  
GA: I Could Regale You With The Thrilling Drama I Am Currently Being Forced To Bear Witness To  
GA: Perhaps You Could Find Some Schadenfreude In It  
guiltlessCounselor [GC] joined the chat Spiders Rule, Dr8gons Drool >::::(.  
GC: H3Y WHO CH4NG3D TH3 CH4T T1TL3  
GA: Yes That Is Definitely A Question Without An Obvious Answer  
guiltlessCounselor [GC] renamed the chat to SP1D3RS 4R3 STUP1D.  
AG: Hey!  
GC: OOPS  
guiltlessCounselor [GC] renamed the chat to SP1D3RS 4R3 STUP1D 4ND SO 1S VR1SK4.  
AG: ::::(  
GA: Oh No Vriska What Did You Do To Upset Terezi This Time  
AG: Me???????? Why are you assuming I'm the one who did something wrong?  
GA: Do You Really Want Me To Answer That  
GA: Because Despite My Better Judgement I Value Our Friendship And Would Hate For It To End Like This  
AG: You were my friend first, you should take my side. >::::(  
GA: You Have Yet To Explain Why There Are Sides For Me To Take  
GA: Tell Me So I Know Why I Am Siding With Terezi  
GC: VR1SK4 THR3W 4 J34LOUS H1SSY F1T B3C4US3 1 D4R3D TO SP3ND SOM3 T1M3 H4NG1NG OUT W1TH NOT H3R  
AG: 8ullshit!!!!!!!!  
GC: NOT BULLSH1T.  
AG: So tot8lly 8ullshit  
GC: 100% BOV1N3 3XCR3M3NT FR33. 1 PR3S3NT TO YOU 3XH1B1T 4:  
GC: (TH4T'S TH3 L3TT3R 4. NOT TH3 NUMB3R 4.)  
GA: Thank You For That Important Clarification  
GC: 4NYW4Y  
GC: 3X1BH1T 4:  
GC: AG: I can't believe you're h8nging out with him again tonight  
GC: AG: you're supposed to be my girlfriend not Karkat's ::::(  
AG: omfg did you seriously just p8ll receipts on me  
GA: The Evidence Does Appear To Be Pretty Conclusive  
AG: You've hung out with him like every day for the l8st two weeks!  
GC: 1’V3 S33N H1M L1T3R4LLY JUST FOUR T1M3S.  
AG: Yeah the only four afternoons I've had off. ::::(  
GC: H3 W4S MY B3ST FR31ND 1N H1GH SCHOOL 4ND 1’V3 H4RDLY S33N H1M S1NC3. OF COURS3 1’M GO1NG TO SP3ND T1M3 C4TCH1NG UP NOW TH4T H3 TR4NSF3RR3D 1N.  
GC: WH4T3V3R, M3SS4G3 M3 WH3N YOU’R3 DON3 B31NG 4 B4BY THROW1NG 4 B4BY T4NTRUM 4BOUT TH1S.  
guiltlessCounselor [GC] left the chat.  
AG: screw you  
AG: ::::(  
AG: See Kanaya? This is why I need you to entertain me  
AG: If she's going to ditch me for her "B3ST FR13ND" then I should spend some time with my bestie too ::::)  
GA: It Is Nice To Know That I Am Your Backup Option  
GA: For When Terezi Is Not Around For You To Spend All Your Time Making Out In Public With  
GA: Wait That Came Out Wrong  
AG: :::;)  
GA: Whatever  
GA: Just Promise You Wont Spend The Whole Time Complaining About Terezi Because I Have Endured Enough Second Hand Relationship Drama As It Is  
AG: I haven’t even complained to you about it before now...  
GA: Not This Time  
GA: But Thats Not What I Meant   
GA: I Have Been Working On Costumes With Eridan "I Was Making Relationships Harder Than Necessary Before It Was Cool" Ampora Remember  
AG: Oh yeah. Who is it this time?  
GA: Sollux  
AG: Again?!  
GA: Again? Still? I Dont Know  
GA: Deflecting His Feelings Into A New Invented Conflict Between Himself And Sollux Appears To Be An Integral Part Of His Sewing Process  
GA: And I Get To Hear All About It While He Is Working In The Costume Room  
GA: Which Is Always  
GA: This Morning I Learned "That Asshole" Is Deliberately Designing The Lighting For The Show To Make Eridan’s Costumes Look Bad  
GA: No Eridan Its Not Sollux’s Fault That You Picked A Terrible Color Scheme  
AG: omg this is perfect  
GA: You Have A Unique Definition Of Perfect  
AG: we should set them up together  
GA: What  
GA: Why Would I Want To Get More Involved In This Train Wreck  
AG: It's the solution to both our problems! I get to spend quality time scheming with my bestie, and if it works they'll be too 8usy snogging in the lighting 8ooth to 8other you with rel8tionship drama.  
GA: It Is A Measure Of How Far Around The Bend I Am That I Am Actually Considering This

 

garmentAugmentist [GA] began pestering channelsAtelier [CA] at 1:17 PM.  
GA: I Thought Long And Hard About How To Deliver This Message  
GA: Ultimately I Decided That Under The Circumstances A Direct Approach Seemed The Most Appropriate Given That I Am Bringing Attention To That Which Is Blindingly Obvious To Everyone Else Yet Has Somehow Escaped Your Notice  
GA: Sollux Wants To Rail You  
GA: You Want To Be Railed By Sollux  
GA: Or Maybe Its The Other Way Around I Honestly Do Not Know Or Care  
GA: The Point Is You Should Both Just Get A Room Already  
GA: I Suggest Dressing Room Number Four  
GA: It Has The Only Reliable Lock Out Of All Of Them  
GA: ...Please Dont Ask How I Know That  
channelsAtelier [CA] is no longer idle!  
CA: hey kanaya!  
CA: you really think hes into me?  
GA: Definitely  
GA: Why Do You Think Hes Constantly Coming Backstage On Breaks  
CA: huh I guess maybe youre right  
CA: thanks kanaya! and here fef and i were trying to get him to ask out eridan  
CA: no wonder he acted so weird about practicing asking him out with me  
GA: Wait What  
CA: anyway i gotta go  
CA: oh i guess i should change this back before i forget :D  
channelsAtelier [CA] changed their handle to aspiringArcheologist [AA]  
AA: ah thats better!  
aspiringArcheologist [AA] is now idle.  
GA: Aradia Wait  
GA: Fuck

 

“Oh good, you’re still here.” Feferi breathed a sigh of relief on finding Aradia still in the prop room. The “prop room” was really half of a larger room, heavy plastic sheeting dividing it into props and costume workshops that had a narrow, hallway-like feel to them. Aradia was sitting at the worktable at the far end of the room, putting the finishing touches on a fake truck dashboard. 

“So remember how Dave said that he wanted the wall in the bathroom stall to just have a flat coat of paint, no grime, no graffiti, nothing like that?”

Aradia nodded.

“Remember how we asked him about a dozen times if he was sure about that, because it didn’t fit with the rest of the set? And how he said over and over again that’s what he wanted?”

Aradia set down her paintbrush. “I’m not going to like where this is going, am I?” She nodded her head toward an empty chair. “Do you want to sit?”

No, Feferi did not want to sit. She was too frustrated to sit. “Well, apparently, Dave found out that Jake can sing, so now the first act has a musical number in it, and the song just happens to be all about the grungy, nasty wall that he said we didn’t need.”

“Damn. I just got around to painting it this morning too.”

“Well you’re just going to have to paint it again!” She froze, regretting the words as soon as they left her mouth – it was Dave she wanted to throttle, not Aradia. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, rubbing at her temple with one hand. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“Apology accepted.” She turned her chair away from the work table and gestured toward herself. “Come here.”

Feferi dragged her hand through her hair. “I’m just…I spent half the day riding herd on rehearsals and the other half redoing the lighting cues with Sollux after the last set of revisions, and then Dave goes and changes half the first act _again–_ “

“I know, I know, come here.” Feferi opened her mouth to ask why but Aradia’s voice stopped her. “Please?” Aradia asked.

“…OK,” she sighed, and marched over to her girlfriend.

Aradia patted her lap. “Sit?”

Feferi raised an eyebrow in question, but complied anyway, settling herself sideways across Aradia’s thighs, relieved to find that the pockets of her cargo pants were relatively empty for once. She felt Aradia shift around behind her before speaking again.

“OK, just…” Aradia guided her, one hand on Feferi’s knee and the other on her opposite shoulder, to turn her so she was facing away from Aradia and straddling her lap.

The position wasn’t quite as comfortable, and Feferi was about to say something when Aradia’s hands began working her shoulders, and whatever words Feferi had intended to say came out instead as a soft, low groan.

“Yup, that’s what I thought. Honey you are way tense right now.”

“mmm hmm,” Feferi agreed, her vocabulary disintegrating as Aradia worked magic on her muscles. Her hands were far from soft, callused as they were from hours of work at dig sites, but they were strong and precise, equally able to wield a pickaxe or a dental pick, and knew by now where Feferi tended to carry tension. Aradia’s fingers rubbed circles into the tight muscles in Feferi’s neck just behind her ears, working their way down her neck and back across her shoulders, bare save for the thin straps of her black tank top, before reversing their journey. A small moan escaped Feferi’s lips, drawing a chuckle from Aradia.

“How did you know?” Feferi asked.

“I’m psychic.” Feferi tried to turn and give her a look, but Aradia’s hands shifted and Feferi let them turn her forward again so Aradia could continue the massage. “You were pacing. And doing that thing where you rub at your head like you have a headache.”

“I _do_ have a headache. Well, I _did_. Thank you.”

Aradia’s hands paused briefly, and Feferi felt her lips against the back of her neck. “You’re welcome. But you’re not going anywhere, I’m not done yet.”

“OK,” Feferi smiled and relaxed against her girlfriend, letting Aradia’s hands guide her to where she wanted her. They were below her shoulders now, slipping her tank top’s straps off her shoulders so Aradia could work her shoulders and upper back without obstruction. She worked loose several knots, earning a variety of contented sounds from her girlfriend, occasionally placing soft kisses on Feferi’s neck and shoulders, lips just brushing against skin. Feferi gasped at a kiss that was decidedly _not_ soft, Aradia’s teeth nipping lightly at the side of Feferi’s neck at the same time as her hands began working around Feferi’s sides toward her chest. Aradia brushed aside Feferi’s top, letting it fall down around her waist. Her fingers grazed along the underside of Feferi’s breasts, causing Feferi to gasp again.

“I thought…you were trying…to help me relax…not get me excited.” Feferi spoke in between hitching breaths, despite Aradia’s lips on her earlobe making it rather difficult to formulate coherent sentences.

“I’m trying to help you relieve stress. Can you think of a better way?” She punctuated the question by nibbling on Feferi’s earlobe, sending electric jolts down her spine.

“I can think of better _places_. Someone could walk in on us.” A moan escaped her, though whether it was from the thought of being caught or from Aradia brushing her thumb over her nipple she wasn’t sure.

“Who could walk in on us?” Aradia responded in her usual tone, giving no hint to the fact that she had her girlfriend half naked in her lap. “The cast is out for their usual post-rehearsal drinks, right?”

“Yeah. But Eridan-”

“Out with Kanaya, making a run to the fabric store before it closes.”

Aradia’s right hand – her left busy pinching a nipple between her thumb and forefinger and sending out little pulses of heat – slid down over her belly, toward where that heat was gathering. Feferi rose up off of Aradia’s lap slightly, seeking to shorten the journey. Aradia offered just enough assurances to let Feferi indulge herself in the fantasy of being seen without getting caught up in the potential consequences, and Feferi would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy the idea of being a spectacle, having everyone’s eyes on her. Maybe it was part of being in theater but never being on-stage, or maybe it was the result of growing up in the shadow of a bold, outgoing older sister who grabbed everyone’s attention whether she tried to or not. It didn’t matter; what mattered was that her girlfriend was stripping her naked backstage in the theater where she and all of her friends worked, and she was damn well going to enjoy it. _Oh, wait._

“What about Sollux?”

“What about him? Are you worried he might come down here?” Aradia dragged her short nails over Feferi’s skin, dipping just beneath the waistband of her denim cutoffs, popping open their button.

"Y-yes,” Feferi gasped the word, answer to both Aradia’s question and her hands tugging her shorts and panties down around her thighs.

“Hmm…I suppose he could. Would that be so bad?” Aradia had moved to whisper into Feferi’s other ear, pausing periodically to run her tongue along it. “He comes down here for a break, opens the door, gets treated to a lovely sight…”

Feferi could feel her heart beat a little faster, her breath grow a bit more ragged with each word, which only seemed to encourage Aradia. “Its’ve seen the way you look at him, you know. The smiles. The casual touches.” Those same fingers that worked magic on Feferi’s shoulders had slipped between her legs, and only now with Aradia sliding against her teasingly did Feferi realize just how much her words had affected her. She bucked her hips to grind against fingers, palm, whatever she could reach, until Aradia began brushing one finger over her clit, providing just the beginning of the sensation Feferi wanted.

“I think he’d enjoy the sight of the two of us right now,” Aradia continued her slow torment, a little harder, a little faster. “And I think you’d enjoy giving him a show.”

Feferi’s heart was racing, and any worries fell away in the face of Aradia’s increasing attentions. Aradia wasn’t wrong; thinking about it sent waves of heat through her. She tried to form a coherent response. “I…would…”

“You would? Tell me what you would do.”

Feferi’s world had shrunk to the sound of her girlfriend whispering in her ear, the feel of her fingers on her clit, and the extrasensory buzz from being put on display like this, even if the audience was imaginary. Feferi had a very active imagination, and she eagerly put it to work, picturing the ways she would drive Sollux wild touching herself, touching and being touched by Aradia. She would watch him watching her, see his reaction to seeing her as she came on her girlfriend’s lap. She opened her mouth to share this with her, but no words came out, just a series of moans as Aradia pushed her to her climax. Her body shook and shuddered, bucking against fingers that kept up their motion carrying her through the orgasm until she had stilled, panting and gasping and held tight in Aradia’s arms.

After Feferi had caught her breath Aradia spoke again. “There’s no reason we couldn’t make that happen, you know.”

“I…what?” Feferi’s brain wasn’t yet up to the task of tracking back through the fantasy to figure out what Aradia was referring to.

“Sollux, you, me. Just a fling, or not. We could talk about it.”

 _Oh._ A one-time thing was out of the question; Feferi was certain it would make things way too awkward between them. _But a…what is it called, a ’threesome?’ No, a ‘triad?’ Or maybe both?_ Despite having a polyamorous girlfriend, Feferi hadn’t thought too much about the possibility of being polyamorous herself. And Aradia hadn’t had any partners besides Feferi since they started dating, so her comfort with even that hadn’t been put to the test. She was pretty sure she could be OK with it, but how could she really know? Maybe it would be easier in a triad, but then there would be two people to be jealous over, so maybe not. _Oh buoy._ This was a lot to think about, on top of everything else that was going on.

“Yeah. OK. Let’s talk about it…after the play opens?”

“Oh!” Aradia’s eyes went wide, an apologetic frown on her lips. “Of course, it can wait till whenever you’re ready!”

“But…” Aradia seemed to choose her words carefully. “You’re still OK with me…”

“Yes, I’m still OK with you having other partners. I just…don’t want to get involved in all of this right now.” Feferi said quickly, already feeling some of her earlier tension returning. “You just got me relaxed, it’d be a shame to make me stress out about something else.”

“OK, it can wait. Although,” Her expression changed, a mischievous glint entering her eyes. “I’d be happy to help you through that ‘relaxation exercise’ again…”


	3. Act Three

garmentAugmentist [GA] joined the chat Ch8cks Before D8cks at 1:17 AM.   
GA: "Chucks Before Ducks" What Is That Supposed To Mean   
GA: I Know That You Have An Unhealthy Attachment To Converse Sneakers But What Do Duck Boots Have To Do With Anything   
GA: Oh   
AG: looooooool   
GA: Never Mind That   
GA: Vriska I Fucked Up   
GA: And I Am Not Referring To Just Now That One Is On You And Your Inability To Type Like A Normal Person   
GA: In My Defense The Circumstances Seem Almost Perfectly Contrived To Lead To Me Making Exactly This Mistake   
GA: Nevertheless I Made It And Now I Dont Know What To Do   
AG: whoa, Maryam   
AG: 8reathe   
AG: Tell me what happened   
GA: I Accidentally Told Aradia Instead Of Eridan That Sollux Was Crushing On Her   
AG: How the f8ck   
GA: I Dont Know She Had Changed Her Screen Name And Her Text Color Who Does That   
AG: omfg I am laughing my 8alls off over here   
AG: Thank you this is exactly the kind of inane 8ullfuckery that I needed right now ::::)

 

Sollux didn’t open the door to the prop room so much as he leaned against it until it fell open. Muscle memory kicked in to keep him on his feet once it did, which was a good thing considering his brain was running a little behind. _That’s what getting up at…um…_ He couldn’t actually remember exactly what time he had gotten up that morning, just that it had been one of those times that he normally associated with messages from Aradia telling him to get his dumb ass to bed.

He muttered a curse at Strider, other Strider, Rose, and – _Who wrote the original? Oh, yeah._ – Ovid and anyone else who could remotely be blamed for them having a rehearsal at ass-early o’clock in the morning. _I guess I should include Fef in that since she scheduled it._ Then again, she only had to do that because Dave couldn’t keep himself from changing the script, and Dirk kept trying to ad lib despite the fact that he’s about as improvisational as an ELIZA bot.

Sollux chuckled to himself. _I could probably make a realistic Dirk chat bot in like an afternoon. It wouldn’t even be hard._ And that right there was a perfect example of how humans were not meant to be awake and working this early: it led to mind-bogglingly stupid ideas like that.

“Good morning Sollux!”

“You’re half right.”

Aradia’s chipper voice had yanked Sollux out of his head and back into the real world, but in the real world his body had auto-piloted its way to the Red Bull fridge, so he supposed it wasn’t all bad. He picked through the contents of the fridge until he found a couple of red and blue cans of the original flavor. Sollux turned to Aradia before closing the fridge.

“You want one?” he asked, but he already knew her answer.

Sure enough, she shook her head, toasting him with a coffee mug of unusual size without looking up from her work. “No, thanks.” She always drank coffee in the mornings, but it never hurt to ask.

Sollux stuffed one can in the pocket of his hoodie and popped the tab on the other, chugging half of it as he made his way across the room to where Aradia was kneeling on the floor, working on a 6’x6’ piece of foam painted to look like it was made of wood. “I see you’re hard at work on the wall.”

“Do you mean The Wall?”

Sollux groaned. “Oh my god did you just?”

“I did just.” Her face was hidden by her hair, but he just knew she was grinning.

“Why did Dave have to pick _that_ song to rewrite? It’s actually good. I mean, for being, you know…” Sollux trailed off, waving his hand dismissively.

“Old?” Aradia offered.

“I was gonna say ‘under 150 BPM,’ but sure, that.” He downed another quarter of his Red Bull and looked over Aradia’s work while he waited for the caffeine to kick in. It was all pretty impressive – even he could tell that, and he knew jack shit about painting and sculpting and whatever the hell other magic she did. She’d made a bunch of foam look like wood, then she’d made it look like painted wood, then chipped, beat-the-fuck-up painted wood, and now she was adding about two decades’ worth of bathroom grime and graffiti to it. Sollux particularly appreciated the foot-long cock and balls that appeared to have been shoddily carved into the wall, with the words ‘DS is full of BS’ carved along the shaft.

“Lol, nice.”

“That’s what Dave gets for telling me to make a big, gross bathroom stall three days before opening. If he didn’t want to be trolled, he should’ve been more specific.” Of course, knowing Strider he’d probably just find it hilarious and call it a master stroke in 11-dimensional irony chess or something.

Sollux moved to get a better look at what she was working on at the moment, kneeling down so her head wasn’t in the way. The change in perspective allowed him to notice the effect gravity was having on the loose tee that Aradia was wearing, and the absolutely fucking spectacular view of her tits that it provided. _Dude, she’s your friend, don’t be an ass._ He forced himself to look at her hands instead, watching as she sanded the foam ever so lightly, carefully shaping it to her liking. Sollux wasn’t sure yet what exactly she was creating yet. _Oh, hey, look at that she’s not wearing a bra today._ Sollux shook his head roughly. _How about we don’t be a creeper and_ don’t _look at that._ The motion apparently caught Aradia’s attention, as she glanced upward at him, smiling with an expression that for once Sollux couldn’t place. Not quite mischief, not quite…something else. It was only there for a second before she returned to her work, taking a moment to stretch her back and shoulders. Sollux took the moment to suddenly be very interested in the contents of his can.

“So…I take it from the Red Bull and the not being in the lighting booth that you’re taking a break?”

“Um, yeah?” There was something in her tone that made Sollux a bit nervous.

"Good.” She kept her head down, carefully sanding away here and there. “Sorry if Fef and I were a little too pushy yesterday, I hope we didn’t go too far?”

Sollux shrugged his shoulders. “Nah, it’s cool.” It was awkward as hell, but whatever. It’s not like they were wrong – not that he was about to admit that, while he couldn’t quite tell what mood Aradia was in.

“I guess I just hate to see people I care about keeping their feeling suppressed.” She tipped her head back to look at him again, a softly serious smile on her lips. _And wow yup. We are confirmed for ‘no bra.’…Fucking damn it, Captor._ In his defense, her tits were on the way to her eyes, but he still felt like a jerk. At least she was still smiling at him, despite what Sollux knew had to be a very obvious blush creeping up his cheeks.

She waited until he was looking her in the eyes before continuing. “Especially not when sharing those feelings could get them what they want.”

She held his gaze while Sollux processed what she said. “So…you really think Eridan would say yes?”

Aradia smiled, lips compressed like she was stifling a giggle, and stood, setting her tools aside on the floor. “I think a lot of people would say yes.”

Sollux’s eyes followed her as she made her way around the set piece toward him, ticking off names as she went, her voice not much above a whisper. 

“Eridan…Feferi...others…” Aradia knelt back down, putting them face-to-face, inches apart from one another.

The moment stretched on, Sollux frozen in place until Aradia deigned to continue, but she remained silent, seemingly waiting for something. _There’s no way it’s that, dude, just stop._

Abruptly Aradia rolled her eyes, breaking the spell. “Me!” she said with what could only be described as affectionate exasperation, and leaned in.

 _Oh, I guess there is a way._ She was kissing him. Aradia was kissing him, like a real not-just-platonic-anymore kiss. He was approximately 95% sure that his elevated heart rate was not just the caffeine finally hitting him. It just occurred to Sollux that maybe he should be kissing her back when she pulled away, frowning, looking like she’d just made a mistake.

 _Shit! Fuck! Say something, dumbass!_ Sollux opened his mouth, without any conscious sense of what he was going to say. “…was that real?” As stream of consciousness went, he supposed it could have been worse.

She blinked at him, confused. He couldn’t really blame her. “Um, yes? Was it OK?”

He wanted to say yes. He really, _really_ wanted to be able to just say yes. “Shouldn’t you ask Fef that?”

She smiled. “Sollux, you are such a sweetheart. I have, and she’s fine with me having other partners. She knows I’m poly.”

“Oh.”

“So, was it OK? For you?”

“ _Dude_ ,” was all he said before pulling her close and doing what he should have been doing in the first place.

 

Feferi walked down the hall, eyes on her phone, reading over the script. _The new script. The new,_ new _script._ She swore when this was over she was going to strangle Dave Strider. Three days – just three days away now! – from opening night and he was still making changes. Which meant she needed to run to the copy shop to reprint the script. Again. She shoved her phone into her purse with an angry grumble. She tried to find an upside to this, but all she had come up with was that it no longer mattered that Dirk and Jake were still struggling with lines from the last draft.

A faint knocking, scuffling sound caught her attention, and she paused in the middle of the hallway. She heard it again, coming from dressing room three. _That’s odd, no one’s supposed to be back here right now._ Feferi sincerely hoped they did not have mice in the dressing rooms again. The last time that had happened, one ran out while the lead was getting ready for a performance. There had been jumping, screaming, a twisted ankle, and a lucky understudy who got to go on stage with about 10 minutes’ notice. Jake didn’t strike Feferi as the jump-and-scream type, but she didn’t want to take any chances.

She opened the dressing room door, flicked on the lights, and screamed. So did Sollux. Who was naked. Naked with her girlfriend straddling his lap. Her girlfriend who was also naked. And straddling more than just his lap. After they’d agreed to put the whole Sollux thing on hold until later. Feferi said the first thing that came to mind as her brain rebooted. “You’re not mice.”

Sollux’s expression turned from horror to slightly confused horror. Aradia just smiled at her apologetically. “Oops. I guess Kanaya had said ‘number four’ after all.”

It was Feferi’s turn to be confused. “What-” She began, but stopped and shook her head, changing her mind about what she needed to say. “No, I don’t need this right now!” She took a breath and turned to go. “Just make sure to clean up after yourselves.”

“Fef, wait!” Aradia called after her.

She paused hand on the doorknob. “Not. Now.” The look on Aradia’s face told her all she needed to know about how much she was not hiding her anger well. “We will deal with this later.” She turned the knob and stepped out into the hallway, leaving the door to slam shut behind her.

 

garmentAugmentist [GA] has joined the chat Arachnophiliacs Anonymous at 11:35 AM.   
AG: ::::)   
GA: Dont You ::::) At Me   
GA: It Got Worse   
GA: The Worsening Does Not Stop   
GA: Your "let love t8ke its course" Strategy Has Been An Unmitigated Disaster   
GA: Now Sollux Is Sulking In The Lighting Booth Having Sworn Off Romantic Encounters Forever   
GA: And Feferi Is Not Speaking To Aradia   
GA: Opting To Channel Her Frustrations Into Being A Raging Bitch Of A Stage Manager   
AG: I thought you said she already was 8eing one   
GA: I Did And She Was   
GA: But She Was At 10 Before   
GA: Now Shes Taken It To 11   
GA: I Did Not Know She Had An 11   
GA: I Pray She Does Not Have A 12 We May Not Survive The Explosion   
GA: Why Oh Why Did I Let You Talk Me Into Meddling   
GA: I Can Hear Aradia In The Prop Room Painting Sadly   
GA: Im Not Sure How Painting Can Sound Sad But It Does   
GA: I Think Its The Abnormally Long Pause Between Strokes   
GA: And The Deep Sighs In Between   
AG: G8d such drama queens!!!!!!!!   
GA: Must I Point Out That We Are All Theater Majors   
GA: Anyway You Need To Help Me Fix This   
GA: What Should I Do   
GA: What Ridiculously Overly Complicated Madcap Scheme Will Put Everything Right   
AG: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯   
GA: ...   
GA: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

aspiringArcheologist [AA] began pestering  garmentAugmentist [GA] at 11:39 AM.   
AA: hey kanaya do you need some help? it sounds like you’re moving furniture over there!   
GA: Oh No Everything Is Fine   
GA: No Problems At All   
GA: How Are You   
AA: i wish i could say the same :(   
GA: Is This About Feferi   
AA: yeah i screwed up bigtime :(   
AA: i just wanted to give her a nice surprise after opening night   
GA: Exactly How Was Screwing Sollux Part Of This Nice Surprise   
AA: oh well...i probably shouldnt share this but feferi has a lot of fantasies involving her sollux and me :D   
GA: OK...   
AA: yeah, please don't repeat that.    
AA: just forget i mentioned it?    
GA: Already Trying To   
AA: thanks :D   
AA: i thought if i could start things off with him on my own and then talk him into something bigger this weekend ;D   
GA: Not A Bad Plan   
GA: But Saying That It Did Not Work Out Would Be Egregiously Generous   
AA: yeah... :(   
AA: i still kind of feel like she's overreacting though   
AA: i mean sure we probably shouldnt have been having sex in the dressing rooms   
GA: I Told You About The Locks   
AA: you told me   
AA: i got it mixed up   
but still she is acting like i betrayed her or something   
AA: she knows im poly and she said she was fine with me having other partners   
AA: its really not cool for her to say that if this is how shes going to act when it happens :(   
GA: She Probably Was Not Imagining Your Other Partner Would Be One Of Her Best Friends   
GA: Or That She Would Be Confronted By It While Trying To Juggle The Epic Shit Show That Is Anything Involving Dave Strider   
AA: oh i hadnt thought about that   
AA: omg im an asshole 0_0/span>  
GA: You Are Not An Asshole  
GA: You Just Fucked Up  
AA: how do i fix this?  
GA: I Have An Idea


	4. Act Four

garmentAugmentist [GA] began pestering  chanelsAtelier [CA] at 12:14 AM   
GA: Hey   
CA: wwhats up kan   
GA: Is This Eridan   
CA: wwho the hell else wwould it be   
GA: Just Making Sure   
GA: I Have Already Done This Once Which Was One More Time Than I Ever Wanted To Do It So You Will Have To Settle For The Short Version This Time   
CA: wwhat are you talkin about   
GA: You Want To Get In Solluxs Pants   
GA: Sollux Wants To Get In Your Pants   
GA: Stop Pretending Thats Not The Case And Go Make It Happen   
CA: wwhat the fuck   
CA: I mean youre not wwrong but wwhat the fuck   
garmentAugmentist [GA] is now idle.

 

Feferi swept her hand across her forehead, brushing back some stray hairs that had been caught by the breeze. Aside from that, the breeze was nice. Warm enough that she didn’t need a jacket, but still cool enough that it grounded her and kept her from getting too caught up in her thoughts.

Feferi turned around at the sound of someone clearing their throat, and found Aradia standing at the stairwell door. “We need to talk,” Aradia said, stepping towards Feferi.

Feferi took a moment to respond, hoping to keep her tone level. “I told you, we’ll talk later.”

“We need to talk now.”

Feferi sighed. “Why? Why does it have to be now?”

Aradia offered a sad smile. “Because as much as you’d like to just put all your feelings on hold for the next couple of days, you can’t. You think you can, and you might think you’ve got it under control, but I know you and I can see that you’re ready to explode.”

“Fine. Let’s talk.”

Aradia looked relieved, her smile brightening. “I fucked up. I’m sorry. I thought I was going to do something nice for you and it backfired in spectacular fashion.”

“How was any of this supposed to be something nice for me?” Aradia took a seat on the roof ledge and motioned for Feferi to join her. She considered about being stubborn and staying standing where she was, but shoved the urge aside. She kept her frown, though it softened as Aradia explained herself. She had to admit, it sounded exactly like something her girlfriend would do.

“So the whole thing with Sollux…?”

“I thought I it would ease him into the idea of us?” She waved her hand, indicating that Feferi was included in that, and laughed a bit. “I just didn’t think about how you would handle that – I mean, you weren’t even supposed to find out. The whole plan was to surprise you later this weekend.”

Feferi felt a flash of anger at the memory. “I was pretty hurt by it, especially after our conversation on Wednesday. We both said we’d wait and talk about things with Sollux after the play.”

Aradia nodded. “We said we’d wait and talk about you and Sollux, or the three of us together. I guess since you’ve always insisted that you’re comfortable with me having other partners, that you wouldn’t have had a problem with _me_ and Sollux.”

“Oh.” That made a lot of sense, actually. Feferi suddenly felt very embarrassed for having blown up like she had.

Aradia spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully. “We haven’t really put that to the test until now. I know you’re under a lot of stress with the play, and Sollux being a close friend probably didn’t help, but…is it really something you’re OK with?”

Feferi took Aradia’s hand, holding it between her own. “Honestly I was only upset because I thought you had lied to me. It was just a misunderstanding...I should’ve clarified that I meant Sollux should’ve been ‘off limits’ until we talked about it more.” Feferi dropped her eyes to their hands in her lap. “I guess I wasn’t really clear about that, and honestly I feel pretty stupid now for having a meltdown over it.”

“Hey, it’s OK. Miscommunications happen.” Aradia’s fingers brushing down her cheek drew Feferi’s eyes back up to hers. Aradia smiled at her encouragingly. “But look at us, figuring it out, talking about it like real adult-type people!”

Feferi smiled back. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry again for making you deal with all of this this week.”

Feferi squeezed Aradia’s hand. “I forgive you.”

Aradia squeezed back. “So…are we OK?”

“Yeah, we’re OK. Although, I still don’t know what I’m going to do about the wedding tomorrow.” Feferi tipped her head back and sighed.

Aradia grinned. “Actually, I think Kanaya might have taken care of that for you!”

 

Eridan pushed on the handle on the door to the lighting booth, relieved to see that Sollux hadn’t locked it. He wouldn’t have put it past him, just to make sure no one could come up and drag his ass out of the puddle of self-pity he was wallowing in. Sollux sat hunched in front of one of several monitors in the room, and between hyper-focus and giant headphones he hadn’t seemed to notice Eridan enter.

“Hey Nerd,” Eridan called. He knocked several times on the door frame, but still Sollux didn’t turn from whatever he was working on. Eridan walked across the room, pulling a chair over next to Sollux. He sat down and watched him for a few minutes as he continued tweaking and adjusting things in some program that Eridan wasn’t familiar with, showing no indication that he’d noticed that someone was sitting right fucking next to him.

“OK, fine,” Eridan said more to himself than Sollux. _Screw being polite._ He lifted one earphone so he could speak directly into Sollux’s ear. “I said, ‘hey, nerd!’”

Eridan wished he had had his phone out to capture Sollux jumping about a foot in the air – it would’ve probably been more if his knees hadn’t hit the underside of the desk, sending half a dozen empty Red Bull cans clattering to the floor.

“Jesus Christ, dude, what the fuck?!” he yelled.

“Five minutes,” Eridan began, and Sollux pulled his headphones down around his neck to listen. “Five minutes I’ve been sitting here watching you do whatever the hell it is you’re doing.”

“Bullshit.”

“Fine, I’ll time it next time.” Eridan could hear Sollux’s music now that his headphones were lowered, and cringed. “What’re you even listening to? It sounds like someone’s blending a cheese grater. How can you get anything done with that?”

“It’s psytrance. It’s fucking sweet and it helps me concentrate. Unlike you, who’s a tool who interrupts me when I’m working on a deadline.” Sollux stopped to take a drink, going through four different cans before finding one that wasn’t empty. “What do you want anyway?”

“I came up here to make sure you weren’t killing yourself. You’ve been in here all day. Have you even thought about taking a break?”

Sollux stared at him for a moment. “Umm…”

“Yeah that’s what I thought. You can’t even take care of yourself.” Eridan swept his arm across the room, calling attention to Sollux himself and the numerous empty cans and food wrappers that all sat within arm’s reach of where Sollux sat. Eridan noticed a faint blush rising on Sollux’s cheeks, and how he turned to avoid looking him in the eye, and wondered if that was the sort of thing Kanaya was talking about earlier. Sure, Sollux gets embarrassed around him a lot, but that’s just because he calls him out and gives him shit all the time. She was always so nice to everyone, it made sense that she wouldn’t get it.

He stood up and started collecting some of the trash around Sollux’s workspace, trying to distract himself from thinking about the rest of that conversation before he did something stupid. He liked Sollux and Fef, Sollux liked Fef, Fef liked Aradia, and Kanaya was wrong. It was a big dumb love rectangle, except for the missing side where no one was interested in him.

“See? I gotta come up here and do this so you don’t work yourself to death and leave Fef without a lighting tech.” When he couldn’t see any more garbage he sat back down with an exaggerated sigh. Sollux’s eyes had followed him around the room as he picked up wrappers and cans and depositing them in the trash. He was still sitting there with his mouth open and a weird look on his face, apparently oblivious to the growing awkward silence between them.

Eridan turned away from Sollux to look at his screen. “What’ve you even been working on all this time?”

“The light show for ‘Another Dick in the Wall,’” he said, rolling his eyes.

“There’s a light show now?”

“Yup.”

Eridan shook his head. “Fucking Strider,” they said in unison, before falling back into an awkward silence.

Sollux broke it this time. “Did Fef send you up here?”

Eridan shook his head. “Nah, she’s been too busy dragging everyone through rehearsal hell over and over again. I don’t know if I’ve even seen her sit down since like 9 this morning.”

“So how come you’re not getting on her case then?”

Eridan shrugged, shifting in his seat. “I don’t know, she’ll figure her shit out I guess? She always does.”

Sollux looked perplexed. “Why did you really come up here?”

“I told you.”

“No you didn’t.” Sollux sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck it,” he said, before actually switching off his music and looking Eridan straight in the eye. “OK, you’re going to laugh at me and call me a moron for this but, are you into me? Like do you have a thing for me?” Sollux went on, which was just as well since Eridan was too stunned by the question to answer. “Cause, Aradia was saying that, and Fef was too, and things are so fucked up with them and me now and I’d really just like to know if I’m about to fuck something else up too.”

Eridan’s face was on fire. “What…what are you talking a-” He didn’t have time to finish the question before Sollux leaned forward, kissing him on the lips. It was quick, little more than a peck, before Sollux pulled away. His apology was interrupted by Eridan jumping onto his lap and smashing their lips together. It was ridiculous and embarrassingly desperate and it made Sollux’s chair tip over and dump them on the floor, but Eridan didn’t care because by the end of it he was still kissing Sollux Captor.


	5. Act Five

It was done. Meenah was married – and both Peixes sisters had survived their mother’s wrath. The look on her face when Feferi showed up with Aradia had been something to behold. She had been about to tear into Feferi when Meenah played her trump card, warning her not to make a scene, lest she ruin Aranea’s “special day.” Of course, it was not like she could have had her way anyway, seeing as Eridan had taken someone else to the wedding. Feferi still couldn’t quite believe that he had gotten Sollux into a tux. Granted he wore sneakers with it, but it was still an impressive feat.

And somehow, they had made it through opening night. The actors remembered their lines, Sollux nailed the light and sound cues, and by some miracle the audience seemed to enjoy it. Feferi privately suspected that most of them assumed that there was some deeper meaning or substance underneath all of the Striderian bullshit that they missed, and they were just faking it so as not to appear unsophisticated.

Feferi breathed a deep sigh of relief. Recalling that it was done – that she’d made it – seemed to lift a weight from her shoulders, and she felt more relaxed than she had in weeks. The fact that she was lying in her girlfriend’s lap drinking champagne probably helped too.

 _On that note…_ Feferi waved her currently empty glass, vaguely in the direction of the bottles that she had liberated from her sister’s wedding. Aradia planted a kiss on her forehead and obligingly refilled her glass. “Mmm, bless you Meenah for getting married and providing us with this delicious bubbly goodness,” Feferi said before taking a drink.

“You know, you’re an adult. You could go out and buy it whenever you wanted,” Eridan pointed out.

Sollux made a face. “But why would you want to? It tastes like ass.”

Feferi fumbled about behind her until she found a cork from one of the bottles and chucked it towards Sollux. “This coming from the guy who drinks Red Bull by the case.”

“That’s different, Red Bull’s a performance enhancing drug. Alcohol’s like the opposite of that.”

“Whatever, that just leaves more for us then.” Feferi raised her still half-full glass in a toast, and Aradia’s hands left her shoulders briefly while she picked up her own glass to clink it against Feferi’s. When they returned Feferi tipped her head back to look at Aradia. “You should massage my shoulders like you did the other night.”

Aradia smiled back at her. “I can’t, you’re wearing a tee.”

“Oh. Well, we can fix that.” She leaned forward, and before Aradia could respond Feferi had stripped off her top and let it fall to the floor amidst corks and empty bottles.

“Um…,” she heard from Sollux and Eridan simultaneously.

“Oh come on,” she said, lying back down so Aradia could resume her work. “It’s not like you’ve never seen me in a bikini before. And besides…” Feferi paused as Aradia’s hands began skimming over her bare shoulders. “…we all know that no one actually minds getting to see me topless.”

Sollux and Eridan erupted in a stream of embarrassed stutters, glancing between Feferi and one another, searching for a counter argument. Finally Eridan shrugged at Sollux. “I mean, she’s not wrong.”

Sollux sighed. “Yeah, OK I got nothing. Sorry we’re both creepers,” he said to Feferi.

“What?!” Feferi laughed. “You two are so not creepers. Sure, Eridan went through that one phase, but I kicked his ass and he grew out of it. And we were all kind of assholes in middle school, so that doesn’t count.”

“Yeah, but-“ Sollux protested, but Feferi cut him off.

“No, no ‘buts.’ There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to cute people.   
And we can’t help it that all of our best friends are cute.”

Aradia kissed Feferi’s forehead again, and Feferi could feel the grin on her girlfriend’s lips. “You’re especially cute when you’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk, I’m merely tipsy,” Feferi protested. “You know it takes more than just a few glasses of champagne to get me drunk. And there’s a lot more giggling involved. Nope, I am just tipsy enough to let me talk about this stuff without worrying needlessly about it.”

Aradia rolled her eyes playfully. “OK, you’re right. You’re especially cute when your tipsy then.”

Feferi nodded. “Yes I am, thank you. But seriously, I’ve been thinking about the drama of the past few days and it all just seems really silly now.”

“How so?” Aradia asked.

“Well, there’s you and me, and now I guess Sollux and Eridan are a thing? But then there’s you and Sollux, and me and Sollux, and me and Eridan, and…it seems like we should be able to make that work?” Feferi sat up and looked around the room at her friends. “Sure, it wouldn’t be the easiest thing in the world, but if we all put the energy we did into realizing Dave Strider’s theatrical vision then we ought to be willing to put it into something that we will enjoy, right?”

“What are you suggesting?” Eridan asked.

“I’m suggesting that you two should get up off that couch and kiss me.” Feferi’s smile slipped as neither Sollux or Eridan moved. “That is, if you want to?”

“Fuck it,” Sollux said, blushing, and Feferi’s heart skipped as he pushed himself off the sofa and crossed the narrow space between them to stand before her. She had to crane her neck to look at him, sitting as she was. He began to lean toward her, and she grabbed his shirt and pulled him down the rest of the way to her. His lips were rough, so much more so than Aradia’s. What began as an almost chaste kiss quickly flared into something desperate and hungry, burning with an intensity years in the making. Feferi felt a hand moving up her side – not Aradia’s, unfamiliar but not unwelcome – and then Sollux was cupping her breast through her bra, just feeling her a moment before beginning to move. Feferi gasped into his lips as his thumb brushed across her already stiff nipple.

Sollux practically jumped back, yanking his hand away as if burned. “Shit I’m-“

“Sollux Captor don’t you fucking dare say you’re sorry.” She stood and grabbed the hand that he had been groping her with, placing it back on her breast just above the edge of the bra cup, looking him in the eye as she did. _Get the hint._

Sollux got the hint. He slipped his hand inside her bra, fingers stroking the side of her breast, kneading with his palm, sending jolts of electricity from her chest down to right between her legs. Feferi leaned into the touch and found his lips with hers again, pulling him close to her.

“You two are so cute together, you know that?” Aradia moved across the couch behind Feferi, tracing her hands over her back before undoing the clasp on her bra; Feferi pulled her hands out from under Sollux’s shirt so Aradia could finish removing the item.

Sollux had grown bold in his kissing, following Feferi’s lead, alternately sucking and nibbling on her lower lip, distracting her so that she didn’t realize Aradia had moved until she heard her whispering in her ear, “She likes it when you do this.”  
Feferi’s head fell back and a series of short moans squeaked past her lips at the feeling of Aradia’s hand on her right breast, pinching and teasing her nipple.

Judging from the way his hips twitched against hers, Sollux liked the sight, the sounds, or both. The movement made the firmness of his cock all the more noticeable through the several layers of unnecessary clothing.

Aradia released Feferi’s nipple to trace patterns down her body with her fingers and across her neck with her tongue. The respite allowed Feferi to catch her breath, and she opened her eyes and found Eridan had stepped up behind Sollux, and was licking and sucking at his earlobe. Again, judging from the way Sollux pressed himself against her, he seemed to be enjoying it and desperate for more. And judging from the way her own hips met his, so was she.

Aradia slipped her hands between them, interrupting their grind just long enough for her to unbutton and unzip Feferi’s shorts, then went to the floor, removing Feferi’s shorts and panties as she did so.

Sollux stepped back, taking Eridan with him, and looked her over with wide open eyes, the attention sending shivers down her spine. “Fuck, Fef…You are gorgeous.”

Before she could even think of how to reply other than by blushing to her ears, she felt Aradia’s hands moving up her calves to press against the back of her knees. She looked down to see her girlfriend lying under her, smiling expectantly, waiting for Feferi to take her place. _Well, far be it for me to keep her waiting!_ She knelt down over her, grateful for the carpeted dressing rooms, and let Aradia shift them both into a comfortable position for her before setting to work, eliciting a stream of pleased sighs from Feferi, which turned to moans the moment Aradia’s tongue found her clit.

Feferi looked up to see Eridan and Sollux watching her ride Aradia’s tongue, feeling a thrill at being on display for them, writhing and crying in pleasure as they watched in silent awe, their enjoyment plain on their faces – as well as in their pants. Still, the point was for them to be doing this together. With as much work as it had been to overcome the initial sexual inertia, she didn’t want them to think that they weren’t all in this together. Luckily Feferi had an idea of how to do that. _And as long as I’m down here..._

She reached out to Sollux, tugging him back toward her by a belt loop. She could feel his cock against her palm, and she took the opportunity to grope him through his jeans, lightly squeezing before tracing the length of him, down and back up, delighting in the gasps he made above her, anticipating the noises she would soon have him making. She quickly undid his belt and jeans – despite a couple of pauses when Aradia found new and exciting ways to use her tongue – and his cock fell free as soon as she began pulling his jeans and boxers down his slim hips. She left them around his thighs, forgotten, and ran her fingers along his length again, watching him buck and twitch at the faint touch, repeating the process with her tongue and listening to his breathing hitch each time she flicked her tongue over the head, until finally she brought him to her lips.

“Fuck!” Sollux gasped as Feferi went down on him, drawing her eyes upwards. Above her Eridan seemed to be attempting to leave Sollux with a necklace of hickeys. Sollux did not seem to mind this in the slightest. Eridan had both hands under his boyfriend’s shirt, stroking his chest. Sollux seemed to have only the barest control over where is own hands were at the moment, one groping at Eridan and the other brushing her shoulder, her hair, her ear – apparently anything he could reach to touch her – his eyes closed and face drawn as he enjoyed their enjoyment of him.

Going down on one partner while being eaten out by another turned out to be harder than Feferi expected. Aradia had the wonderful habit of being very good at what she was doing, which made it all the more difficult for Feferi to be good at what _she_ was doing. Still Sollux’s previously erratic motions had developed something resembling a rhythm, and if his pace was anything to go by he was rather enjoying himself. With the attention he was receiving from both her and Eridan, it wasn’t long before that rhythm began to fall apart entirely.

“Oh fuck, Fef,” he managed to get out, then his whole body was jerking in Eridan’s arms as he came. It was warm, salty, and not particularly pleasant to Feferi’s taste, but she swallowed anyway because taste wasn’t exactly the point of her giving her partner a blow job. Gradually Sollux’s body grew limp, until Eridan was about all that was holding him up, and he helped Sollux sit down instead of falling over. The fact that his pants were still around his knees didn’t help, and Sollux kicked them the rest of the way off once he was sitting down. 

“Eridan, I think Fef asked as _both_ to kiss her?” Sollux nudged his boyfriend’s shoulder. Eridan looked back and forth between Sollux and Feferi, waiting for her to flash an inviting smile before getting up and kneeling next to her.

He seemed more confident than Sollux in this area, kissing her hard but briefly on the lips, then trailing kisses along her jawline and down her neck. It was just as well, as Feferi did not know how she was supposed to kiss, moan, and breathe all at the same time. She closed her eyes gave herself over to their ministrations, feeling herself getting closer with every touch, rocking herself harder and faster. The sensations were almost overwhelming, teeth nipping along her neck, tongue diving into her and flicking over her clit, and hands tangled in her hair, groping her ass, seemingly everywhere.

With a shuddering gasp she came, practically shivering atop Aradia’s tongue as her orgasm rolled through her, slowly subsiding. Once Feferi felt like she had conscious control over her limbs again, she slid herself down Aradia’s body to cuddle her in her afterglow. Aradia wrapped her arms around her, and Feferi shifted around so she could kiss her wonderful, fantastic, beautiful girlfriend. She tasted herself on Aradia’s lips and tongue, but then Aradia probably tasted Sollux on hers.

“What’s so funny?” Aradia asked, noticing Feferi starting to giggle against her lips.

Feferi looked up toward Sollux. “Sorry, Sollux. But I taste better than you.”

“Yeah,” Aradia agreed, stifling a laugh of her own.

Sollux shrugged. “I could’ve told you that, and I haven’t even gone down on you yet.”

Feferi rolled off of Aradia and onto the floor. “Hey,” She said, looking up at Eridan and Aradia. “How come you two are still dressed?” She tugged at the cuff of Eridan’s pant leg. “You haven’t even taken off your vest. Come down here.”

He knelt beside her, and she sat up to meet him, catching his lips in a kiss as she unbuttoned and removed his vest, then set to work on the button-down shirt he wore beneath it that at the moment seemed to have far too many buttons. They continued kissing while Feferi disrobed him, tongues licking over lips and darting out to meet. Eridan was hard well before she’d finished. When he was finally standing naked next to her, she stepped in close, relishing in the sensation of their bodies pressed together.

On the floor next to them Sollux had just removed Aradia’s bra, and she was writhing beneath him as he lavished attention on her breasts. Feferi idly stroked Eridan’s cock as they watched, smiling as his hips thrusted to meet her hand. Turnabout was apparently fair play though, as she soon felt him trailing fingers through short damp curls and teasing around her entrance.

After what seemed like ages of teasing, he slid one finger inside her. It wasn’t the best angle, standing as they were, but it was enough to make her gasp when he added a second finger and began stroking her inside. At that point she gave up any pretense of trying to jerk him off and turned to give him better access as they watched Sollux moving between Aradia’s legs, licking along first one thigh then the other, closer and closer to their apex.

“Sollux, please…,” Aradia begged, and he obliged, drawing a long, low moan from her as he caressed her with his tongue. Feferi practically echoed the sound, and the sudden rush to her clit made her knees go weak.

Eridan took this as his queue, withdrawing his fingers from her – making her whimper, to her slight embarrassment – and leading her to lay down on the sofa. He positioned himself between her legs and suddenly she didn’t miss having his fingers inside her. He looked up at her, and she nodded.

“God, yes,” Feferi said. He thrust inside her easily, more than ready as she was. They started slow and steady, taking in the feeling of one another, the little pulses of pleasure each thrust brought them.

Aradia’s moans had grown more urgent, and Feferi turned to see Aradia looking back at her, smiling and watching them fuck as she rocked her hips frantically under Sollux’s tongue. Feferi gasped as Eridan began stroking his thumb her clit and picked up his pace. The show seemed to be enough to send Aradia into a shaking, shuddering climax beneath Sollux.

The pressure from inside and out quickly brought Feferi right up to the edge, and above her she could see Eridan was not far behind her. She just needed a little bit more to send her over.

Aradia, mostly recovered, moved to sit against the sofa by Feferi’s head. She started running her fingers through Feferi’s hair and whispering into her ear. “That’s it love, come for us. Come for all of us.”

And that was enough for her, to send Feferi over the edge she had been riding along, into moans that boarded on screams and waves that rocked her entire body. Distantly through it she felt and saw Eridan hit his climax, thrusting hard and fast several more times before collapsing against her still shaking body, spent.

“That was beautiful,” Aradia whispered, petting Feferi softly.

Feferi gave her a goofy smile, still well in the daze of her afterglow. “Yes…it felt…that word you said. That was a good word.”

Sollux and Aradia both laughed and Feferi pouted at them. “What? Talking is hard.” Now was not the time for talking, now was the time for basking. Talking would come later. Yes, there would be lots of talking later, sorting out everyone’s’ feelings and needs and desires. They would talk and they would figure it out, and they would make it work. But first, there was basking to do.

 

garmentAugmentist [GA] has joined the chat Come On Do The Sp8der D8nce.   
AG: !!!!!!!!   
AG: H8w’d it go????????   
GA: Alls Well That Ends Well I Suppose   
AG: It worked?   
GA: Let Me Just Say That I Would Not Go Anywhere Near Dressing Room Four For A While   
AG: looooooool   
GA: Who Knows How Long Their Quartet Will Last   
GA: But They Seem To Be Happy Right Now   
GA: On A Related Note I Need You To Give Me Back The Head Phones You Borrowed   
GA: Right Now   
GA: Please   
AG: Do I want to know?   
GA: No   
GA: No You Most Certainly Do Not

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this loose adaptation of William Shakespeare's _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ \- you'll see it if you squint. :P
> 
> ###  _The Lovers_
> 
> Hermia: Feferi  
> Demetrius: Eridan  
> Lysander: Aradia  
> Helena: Sollux
> 
> ###  _The Nobles_
> 
> Theseus: Meenah  
> Hippolyta: Aranea  
> Egeus: Her Imperial ~~Con~~ Momdecension
> 
> ###  _The Fae_
> 
> Oberon: Vriska  
> Titania: Terezi  
> Puck: Kanaya
> 
> ###  _The Players_
> 
> Bottom: Dirk  
> Flute: Jake


End file.
